Alright, listen up, y’all. We gonna talk about them fancy guns in Destiny 2, the ones they call “exotics,” but the ones you get from them dungeons, you hear? Them dungeons, they like big ol’ caves, full of bad guys and stuff, but they got the good loot, the shiny stuff.

So, first off, we got this gun called Gjallarhorn. Folks say it’s real good. You gotta do a quest to get it, somethin’ in a dungeon they call “Grasp of Avarice.” Sounds greedy, that name, but hey, that’s how it is. I ain’t never been to a Grasp of Avarice, but my nephew, he told me all about it. Said it’s got this big ogre, and you gotta fight him. Sounds like a pain, but that gun, it shoots rockets that explode into little baby rockets, like a whole flock of angry birds goin’ after them bad guys. Real powerful, they say.

Then there’s this other one, Edge of Action. Sounds like somethin’ a superhero would say, “Edge of Action!” This one, I ain’t too sure about. They say it’s an echo of an old gun. Sounds like my grandma’s old shotgun, always jammin’ and kickin’ like a mule. But these young folks, they like it, say it’s got some kinda special power. Probably shoots faster than my ol’ scattergun, I reckon.

• Now, some folks got their own ideas ’bout which guns are best.
• My nephew, he’s always goin’ on about Heartshadow. Says it’s the best. I don’t know, looks kinda fancy to me, all glowy and stuff.
• But he swears by it, says it makes him invisible or somethin’. Sneaky fella, he is.

Now, there’s a bunch of these dungeons, like eight of ’em, they say. Each one’s got its own special gun, ‘cept for one called Prophecy. I dunno why that one ain’t got a gun, maybe they just forgot to put one in, like how I sometimes forget where I put my glasses. Happens to the best of us, y’know?

Let’s see, there’s this one dungeon, Shattered Throne. Sounds like somethin’ outta a fairy tale. And another one called Pit of Heresy. Sounds scary, like a place you wouldn’t wanna go near. But these young folks, they love it, always jumpin’ in there lookin’ for trouble. They each got their own fancy guns, too, but I can’t remember what they called ’em. Too many names, sound like gibberish to me.

Warlord’s Ruin is another dungeon, a new one. Heard my nephew talkin’ about it the other day. Said it’s got some tough bosses, but the loot’s worth it. He’s always chasin’ the loot, that boy. Reminds me of my husband when he used to go huntin’. Always lookin’ for the biggest buck, even if it meant trompin’ through the mud all day.

Anyways, these guns, they all do different things. Some shoot fast, some shoot slow but hit hard, some got fancy effects, like makin’ enemies explode or turnin’ invisible. It’s all a bit confusing if you ask me. Back in my day, a gun was a gun. You pointed it, you shot it, and somethin’ fell down. None of this fancy business.

But these kids, they love it. They spend hours and hours in these dungeons, fightin’ the same bad guys over and over again, just to get that one special gun. I don’t get it, but I guess it makes ‘em happy. As long as they ain’t causin’ trouble, I reckon it’s alright. Keeps ‘em outta my hair, at least.

So, if you’re lookin’ for these dungeon exotics, you gotta go to them dungeons. You gotta fight the bad guys, you gotta solve the puzzles, and you gotta be patient. It ain’t easy, but nothin’ good ever is. Just like bakin’ a good pie, you gotta take your time, you gotta use the right ingredients, and you gotta have a little bit of luck. And if you’re lucky, you might just get that shiny gun you’ve been lookin’ for.

And remember, just ’cause some fancy pants on the internet says a gun is good, don’t mean it’s gonna be good for you. You gotta find what works for ya. Just like how some folks like apple pie and some folks like cherry. It’s all a matter of taste, ya know? So go on, get out there, and find yourself a good gun. And don’t forget to have fun, that’s what it’s all about, ain’t it?

That’s all I got to say about them dungeon guns. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on my biscuits before they burn. These young folks and their video games, I tell ya…

Tags: Destiny 2, Dungeon Exotics, Gjallarhorn, Heartshadow, Edge of Action, Grasp of Avarice, Shattered Throne, Pit of Heresy, Warlord’s Ruin, Exotic Weapons, Loot, Guide, PVE