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Alright, so you wanna know about this Condor thing in that Final Fantasy game, huh? Well, let me tell ya, it ain’t as complicated as them city folk make it out to be. I heard it’s some kind of… bird? Yeah, a big ol’ bird, they call it a “condor”. Sounds fancy, but it’s just a bird, I tell ya.

Now, from what I gathered, this condor, it likes to eat. Eats cloudfish, they say. What’s a cloudfish, you ask? Don’t ask me! Sounds like somethin’ them fancy folks make up. But the bird, it eats ’em. And sometimes, if you’re unlucky, it might just swoop down and try to snatch you up too! Only if you’re crossin’ some place called “Zorgor the Boundless.” Sounds like a big field to me, nothin’ to be scared of.

• They say this bird, it bites. And it bites every 20 to 32 seconds. Don’t know why you’d let it bite ya, but that’s what they say.
• And get this, you can catch this bird, or somethin’ from it, and trade it in for “scrips”. Sounds like money to me, but they gotta make it sound all fancy, don’t they? You gotta be a “Culinarian”, whatever that is, some kinda cook I guess, to do somethin’ with it. And it’s gotta be level 690, that’s a big number!

Now, if you’re lookin’ to get your hands on this condor, or whatever it drops, you gotta know where to find it. They say you can fish for it. Fish for a bird? Makes no sense, but that’s what they tell ya. Or maybe you gotta kill some critters, “mobs” they call ’em. They drop things, like this condor stuff, maybe. Or you can buy it, if you got the coin. Me, I always preferred findin’ things myself, cheaper that way.

I heard tell there’s a place to look up all this stuff, somethin’ called a “database.” Sounds like a big book to me, full of monster info. This Highland Condor, they call it. You can find out what it drops, where it hangs out. Folks these days, they got all this fancy technology, can find out anythin’ they want.

There’s also somethin’ called “Teamcraft”, sounds like a bunch of busybodies to me. They got some kind of app, on the computer they say. Helps you find stuff faster. Me, I just use my eyes and my common sense. But these young folks, they like their gadgets.

And then there’s this “Eorzea Database”. Another big book, I reckon. Tells you all about quests and items and such. Honestly, it’s all too much for me. Back in my day, you just went out and found things. No fancy books, no fancy computers, just good ol’ fashioned lookin’ around.

So, to sum it up, this condor, it’s a bird, it eats cloudfish, it bites, and you can get stuff from it to trade for money. You gotta fish for it, kill for it, or buy it. And there’s a bunch of fancy ways to look up information about it, if you’re into that sort of thing. Me, I’d just go out there and see what I can find. That’s the way I always done things, and it’s always worked out alright.

But remember, always be careful out there. That bird might bite, and it sounds like it’s a big one! And don’t go wanderin’ around Zorgor the Boundless, unless you wanna be a condor’s dinner!

That’s all I know about this condor thing. Hope it helps ya. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go tend to my chickens. They don’t need no fancy databases to tell ’em when it’s time to eat!

Oh, and I almost forgot, if you really want to get good at catching this condor, or whatever it is you city folk are after, you gotta practice. Practice makes perfect, that’s what my old pappy used to say. And he was a wise old man, even if he didn’t know nothin’ about no fancy computer games.

And don’t go trustin’ everything them city folk tell ya. They got all sorts of fancy words and gadgets, but sometimes, good old common sense is all you need. Just like findin’ a good fishin’ spot, or knowin’ when the rain’s comin’. You don’t need no computer for that.

So go on out there, and see what you can find. But be careful, and don’t forget what I told ya. That condor’s a big bird, and it don’t mess around. And if you do manage to catch one, or whatever it is you get from it, maybe you can bring me some of them “scrips.” I could always use a little extra money, even if I don’t know what a “Culinarian” is.

Good luck to ya, and don’t forget to come back and tell me how it all went. I always like hearin’ a good story, even if it’s about some fancy computer bird.

Tags: Condor, FFXIV, Zorgor Condor, Highland Condor, Cloudfish, Culinarian, Scrips, Gathering, Fishing, Monster, Item, Quest, Eorzea Database, Teamcraft